It happened again. Why is this happening again?… I am at least grateful that this time around I had it under control because first and foremost, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and I am a fighter. My body became so hot all the sudden. Hands were shaking slightly, and I could hear my heart beating through my ears. Pretty loud thumps. My armpits were profusely sweating. I was having a physical panic attack and I knew this because this was the second time this has happened to me.
So, for those of you who might have been following me for a while, you will know that I went through a terrible break up this time last year which has left me with panic attacks whenever I sense triggers that remind me of the day my heart was torn apart.
To explain to you all in brief; The day I was dumped, I woke up normally and was ready to start my day. The person I was dating at that time used to help me out with my photography for the blog and the day before we had been shooting and I was planning on editing the next day. However, something didn’t feel right that morning because the guy was up early and there was this tense atmosphere. But I thought, maybe he wasn’t in the mood to talk. I said good morning and tried to make small talk and the next thing I heard was “This is not working out”. I thought I heard wrong.
Suddenly, I felt like my whole world was crumbling down. Literally, my stomach turned, and I thought I was going to shit myself. My armpits were profusely sweating, and my hand started to shake. The person I thought I would spend the rest of my life had just said he was done with me. I had so many questions. This was the last thing I was expecting considering It was like three weeks to our anniversary and my birthday was around the corner. And now this. It was too much to take it.
I really thought I was going to lose my mind because this was a sudden blow to my chest. To cut the long story short, that was the end of a two-year relationship that I had so much hope on. The sleepless nights that followed that day, are nights that I look back on and thank God for pulling me through that ordeal. I would cry myself to sleep and wake up with puffy eyes. I stopped eating not because I didn’t want to eat but purely because I spent most the time replaying scenarios and second guessing myself. Not until I turned to God who pulled me through it all.
Fast forward to now, I never thought I would find love again, but I am happy to say Love found me. Much as I have put my past in the past, the trauma still lingers from time to time. The one thing that I have noticed is that when I get so happy, negative thoughts try to push through. You know, like making me think like maybe this is too good to be true.
The first time I encountered this sudden overwhelming feeling of a panic attack, I was with my Mr and I suddenly started crying. He was astonished as to why I was crying. Looking back, I would be too if I were in his shoes. But anyway, he held my hand and helped me calm down. He suggested to me to think about a happy moment in my life and ways to control that feeling the next time I feel it coming. It’s all about mindset. Below are a few steps that have helped me practice mindfulness and reduce anxiety.
HOW TO PRACTICE MINDFULNESS & REDUCE ANXIETY
STAY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
There is no rule that says you must be doing a million things at once or a statement that tells you to worry about everything that has yet to happen. Worry is consuming, and I have realized that it can take over you like fever if you don’t put a stop to it. Being a person of faith, I believe in God therefore, I know that I don’t need to worry over anything because God has got me covered.
DON’T ANALYSE THE SITUATION
Once you begin to over analyze the situation, you’re creating an imaginary outcome. We all have been there. You start creating all kinds of assumptions and conclusions. Let’s not analyze situations without having facts.
ACCEPT THAT THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH THAT CAN BE DONE
You can’t control everything. Neither can you go back in time and change anything. That’s just the way it is. Some things can’t be changed.
TRUST IS SOMETHING BIGGER THAN YOURSELF
This has really helped me. Trusting in something bigger than me lets me focus on my tasks. You don’t have to worry about the how. You don’t have to get overwhelmed by the details. For perfectionists, this can be difficult, but it is doable with practice.
FIND BEAUTY IN EVERY MOMENT, EVEN IN THE HORRIBLE ONES
Look for the lesson. There is beauty in breaking your toe if you’re willing to be open to it. There is beauty in realizing that a bad situation was teaching you something. Try looking at the positive in whatever comes your way.
Hope these tips will be helpful to someone struggling with physical anxiety.
Feel free to share with me whether you have had any battle with anxiety in your comments below.
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