As years go by, my outlook on relationships has changed not only through my own experiences but from what I see around me. Gone are the days when a dude would ask you out on a date and after a few weeks of establishing a relationship officially ask you out. I am not saying this doesn’t happen any more but the majority of guys these days don’t take the initiative to actually officiate a relationship. Talking from a lady’s perspective, to us having a title to a relationship symbolizes a commitment. It also makes someone accountable for any wrong doing in a relationship. However, to what extent would one go to get that title? Personally, after dating someone for a while I would automatically expect the relationship to be officiated or given some sort of title. I had a very interesting talk with my male colleague and his response to this was “if a guy doesn’t put a title to your relationship within a month or so of dating , it surely means that he is either not sure about you or he hasn’t found what he is looking for in you”. The harsh reality is that it might be the case. But you would be shocked to find that some girls actually keep pursing some dude who has clearly shown you that he isn’t ready for a relationship. Don’t give a guy a chance to tell you that that he doesn’t want you the second time around. I mean why put yourself through such heartache. As they saying goes actions speak louder than words. However, do you give a guy an ultimatum just do get what you want? Bearing in mind that there is a 75% chance that he will not go with the ultimatum because he might feel he is being pressured especially if he isn’t that in to you anyway, lets just face facts. If he was head over heels nothing would stop him from giving you that title in the first place. However, this ain’t the gospel truth as everyone’s situation is different.
I have personally encountered this situation where i dated a guy for about two months and honestly this lad didn’t have the decency to ask me out. I was really into him and so I kept reassuring myself that he would eventually ask me out not until I asked God for a sign , to show me if this was really it. I then gathered the courage to ask him whether we were exclusive or not. the guy said he wasn’t ready for anything serious. So hadn’t I asked he would just be carrying me along his journey of unseriousness.
Went off on a tangent, back to the topic at hand which is the title. What are the main reasons for wanting a title? Is it just for the sake of posting on IG : “Bae and I chilling, he is the best boyfriend ever, #MCM”. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. its the intention behind you doing that which matters. Another questions we as ladies should ask ourselves is what are we bringing to this relationship after it being official. Is it just pussy and cute looks. bear in mind he can get that from any one. I am not a relationship guru, but some things just make me think beyond. Pussy doesn’t create a bond. There is more to it than that. If you aim at having a place in someones life you need to connect spiritually and emotionally. Get to know him or her, court each other and then that title would eventually come up if mutual love exists.
Just thought I would share. Feel free to comment or add on.
Tsepo.x
